i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
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I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
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Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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