Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
