Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
