Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
