called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He? As in you personified your dick?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
