i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize