I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize