Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
