Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
