Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
