CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
