He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We had sex on a dog bed..
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
