it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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