Barsexuality is the new black.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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