My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
