can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
