return my video game
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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