I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
