i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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