All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
