she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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