Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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