all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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