Cold hands, warm shart.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize