I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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