mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
