In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He has the fingertips of a God
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