If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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