Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
