Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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