I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
