sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
