In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
