I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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