You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
