hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
