i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
