Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just pee around me
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
