This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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