Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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