He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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