I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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