Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
