Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
and you fell through a lawn chair
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
