i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
