You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
