Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
