i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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