Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
