He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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