Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I will die if light touches me.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
