I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
