you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize