I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
