i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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