he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
