Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
