Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize