when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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